While we are sheltering at home, I wonder what we are up to. Are we pushing ourselves to do more in our work/home lives? Have we made loaves of bread that would put bakers in France to shame? Have we taught ourselves a new language? Written a screenplay? Knitted booties for preemies? Redone the basement? If not, shouldn’t we be doing these things... and more?
The answer, to put it gently, is not at all. Setting goals for how we should be using all this “extra time” to check things off our to-do lists seems like something good, yet it can in fact become what I like to call “Toxic Productivity.”
Productivity is Bad?
It becomes toxic when it shuts us off from the things that we need in our lives. When work becomes all-encompassing to the point where nothing else matters, is a very strong red-light that we are overwhelming ourselves.
We may not even notice that our stay-at-home work ethic is unhealthy. Take a moment to assess. Are we forgetting or working through our need to eat, drink, sleep, or go to the bathroom?
Our partner/family members may be telling us that we're “always working,” “never around” or “always on our phone.” What they mean is, "We miss you. We need you. Please spend time with us.”
Shouldn’t We “Do More”?
It may seem counterintuitive to say so, but let’s think about productivity. Being a productive person is wonderful, when we are feeling great about it, and when we aren’t it can send us down a spiral of self-doubt and depression. When we expect more from ourselves than we can produce in a healthy way; this is the definition of “Toxic Productivity”. You can find a more in-depth description and coping strategies here.
We are absolutely in unprecedented times right now. Our homes have become our world, offices, daycare and schools for our children. Some of us are still working, some of us are trying to find things to do, and many of us, no matter what our situation, are feeling overwhelmed.
Guess what? That means we are human. It’s ok to become more productive, just as it is ok to feel that you can’t do any more than you are. It’s human to feel stuck and unmotivated right now. And it’s even fine to take this time to breathe.
How to Get Unstuck
There is no one perfect way to get motivated. Our motivation cues differ, just as we do. We can try setting more realistic goals, taking timed breaks throughout the day to meditate, check-in with family and friends, to connect with others in the outside world. (Thanks to video conferencing we can see those we care about, even if we can’t be in the same place.) We’ve seen friends dancing, singing, reading more and all of these can be joyful pursuits that take us out of our slump.
The number one thing to remember is to treat ourselves as we would treat others. We empathize when our family and friends are overwhelmed, and we can do the same for the person we see in the mirror. It’s ok to take all morning to get out of your pj’s. It’s ok to not start or finish the reorganizing project. Let your friends do the sourdough baking (and hopefully they will safely share some with you) while you cheer them on.
It’s ok not to be uber productive. We all, at one time or another in this isolating time, will feel uncomfortable and unsure. We are all human and we are all in this together.
Reaching out and communicating the positives and negatives of the situation with others brings us all closer together in this time of isolation. All feelings are always allowed! If I can be helpful in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out. All of my information can be found here.