The holiday season is a time to celebrate and connect with loved ones, but it can also be a source of stress. By recognizing the common sources of holiday stress and implementing self-care strategies, you can find balance and joy during this time of year. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's a necessary component of making the holiday season truly special. So, be kind to yourself, prioritize self-care, and savor the moments that matter most.
Learning to Pause
“With so much emotional reactivity in the world today, it’s vital to our health that we learn how to consciously pause before responding. ”
I recently created a post on my Instagram Page about the benefits of pausing. This can be in response to a text, a voicemail, or even an in-person conversation.
When my clients get stuck in dealing with difficult emotions, I introduce them to the mindful pause technique. I also regularly use the mindful pause technique before speaking with colleagues + clients. When we can consciously put ourselves into the habit of pausing - breathing space between the situation and our immediate reaction to it- the outcome is more desirable. It’s a true skill to learn how to pause, understand + then act.
“How can you practice pausing today?”
Are we connected on social media? I share stories + post content for clients & clinicians all related to improving mental health. ▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾▾ Come find me! ▾
Make Mindfulness Fun
{This article was first published in Elephant Journal on July 11, 2017}
Since the original post, the world has shifted. It's now nearing the end of 2020 - with COVID taking up most of our year- and it's become crystal clear that it's time to take a look at ourselves and take responsibility for what is going on in our world. One child at a time, one family at a time, one community at a time, building toward a future in which we all feel safe and unafraid of one another. We must work together to educate our children and provide them with the necessary tools they will need for a successful future.
3 Tips to Make Mindfulness Fun for your Children.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Kids are like sponges—they absorb everything.”
When uttered, this phrase is typically used as a warning to parents or their guests: “Whatever you do, don’t mess up—the kids are watching!” One bad word and you’ve got an adorable three-year-old walking around saying something she shouldn’t to your in-laws.
Something that is often forgotten about the “kids are like sponges” sentiment, though, is that they also absorb good things.
As an adult, kids look up to you and watch to see how you react and interact with the world around you. In a time where kids and adults alike seem unable to separate from their screens, practicing mindfulness in your life, and showing your children how to be mindful, can have immeasurable benefits.
I often see kids in my practice who are anxious or who struggle with other cognitive hurdles, like ADHD. I have found that introducing kids to mindfulness exercises and games can help them immensely when they’re feeling overwhelmed or out of control.
Start with yourself.
Do you already practice mindfulness in your everyday life? If you do, that’s great: You’re one step closer to having a mindful child. Kids look to you for how to behave. So, if you don’t have your own mindfulness routine yet, start one. It can just be a few minutes a day, but getting into this habit will help you as you guide your child on their own path. There are tons of resources available online if you need a little boost to see how to start practicing mindfulness in your daily routine.
Mindfulness is fun!
People frequently come up to me and say that they’d love to teach their kids to be more mindful, but they have trouble getting them to stay still for 30 seconds. It’s something I’ve heard a million times and my answer is always the same: Make a game out of it! Kids love games, and games are a great way to introduce them to the concept of mindfulness.
Tip: Make sure the game is age-appropriate, and don’t worry about calling it a mindfulness game or not—it’s just a game that incorporates mindfulness. Consider taking a walk around the neighborhood, and devote 30-60 seconds to a “listening game.” What do they hear? Birds? Cars? The wind through the trees? A simple exercise like this can plant the seed in your kids to be more aware of the world around them.
Mindfulness is calming.
Right before bedtime is a great time to practice mindfulness with your kids. While they’re laying down, and after you’ve read them their story, guide them through an exercise that brings an awareness to their body: “Gently scrunch up your toes. Okay, now un-scrunch them. Feel the muscles in your legs. Feel them get heavier. Picture your belly and take a deep breath in. Now, breathe out.”
There are lots of body-awareness scripts available online, too, to help you get the hang of this one. The quiet of the house and your soothing voice make this a great time of day to pass along mindfulness to your kids.
Remember: mindfulness doesn’t happen overnight, and it is not a “cure” for an unruly or rebellious child. However, mindfulness is a tool that you can equip your child with that can serve her well for years to come. Simply being aware of our surroundings and how we fit into our environment is a step in the right direction.
Teens + Meditation
Did you know that May was Mental Health Awareness Month? And May 9th, specifically, was Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day? It’s been a very special month for the mental health community so if you didn’t hear, now you know for next year!
Though I don't work directly with children, I do work with many parents, teaching them behaviors that are often a wonderful model for their kids and teens. I believe that as children grow and mature, their mental health becomes just as important as their physical health. I see this as a consistent theme for my parental clients and something they are challenged with on a daily basis. Let’s face it- Raising kids is hard work and teens have enormously high standards set by society these days; especially with social media being so readily available.
The Facts
Statistics from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America show that around 80% of teens have a diagnosable anxiety disorder and 60% of teens with diagnosable depression are not receiving any help at all to deal with these, frequently, crippling conditions. The teen years are often fraught with anxiety and depression in varying degrees. Perhaps it is a phase that they’ll grow out of-However often, it can be something much more serious.
On a daily basis the teenage mind, which is yet to be fully formed- is dealing with grades, homework, sports, extracurricular activities, social interactions with their peers and perhaps even heartache. 1 in 8 of these teens has anxiety or depression that could be diagnosed. Teaching, modeling and supporting your child with coping mechanisms to deal with these stresses that are coming at them from all sides, may be a start towards a healthier mind set (for both of you)!
Meditation
I frequently suggest meditation as a tool for my clients to help with the overwhelm they feel as parents, as I have found it has helped me both personally and professionally in so many ways. Incorporating a meditation practice into my own life has provided me with insight into myself and also helps to set a firm foundation for how I start my day. I enjoy sharing this with my patients and find most are very receptive.
For example, a colleague of mine, Dr. Monisha Vasa is the Psychiatrist who is referenced here which suggests using meditation as a tool for teens to work through anxiety. There are meditation apps, classes, coaches and therapists that can give both you and your teen the mental resources you need. The article goes into more detail on these supportive methods; however, I highly recommend reading it for ideas on how to help if you have a teenager who’s struggling.
Joining with your teen and sharing their journey may help to allay the fear and uncertainty they’re feeling about the process of starting a meditation practice. Approaching them in a collaborative, rather than combative way, is a positive step you can take to start. Taking small steps to begin your own meditation routine will also help the beginning of their practice be less arduous and they’ll be less apt to add onto the stress and anxiety they’re already feeling. Setting manageable goals, with leniency when needed, will ease the pressure they are feeling.
Sticking with a consistent meditation practice has the opportunity to bring about many positive shifts for you both. One of the most important, is a closer bond with your child- as you are right there by their side! You and your teen may begin to feel more centered, calm and empathetic towards one another. And, especially for them, learning how to regulate their emotions at a young age can assist with so many aspects of their future relationships, leading to healthier more fulfilling lives.
Final Inspiration
I found this insightful quote that does a wonderful job of explaining what meditation can help you and your teen. “The goal of meditation is not to get rid of thoughts or emotions. The goal is to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions and learn how to move through them without getting stuck.” - Dr. P. Goldin
As always, if I can be helpful in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out! All of my information can be found here.